where has my mojo gone?

I’ve worked to deadlines before and they have never really bothered me. I don’t always observe them but I do use them as a mark. Often I have been lackadaisical because I know I can wrangle the deadline to a later date, I know I can get a weeks extension.

Now I feel like I have another deadline far more serious and far more urgent than any I have previously had. Now, the one time I want a certain date for the deadline, is the one time a certain date will not be pinned down. I feel like I have so much to finish before I become a father and all this tenseness and wondering and uncertainty has, over the last month or so, made my mojo disappear. I haven’t even been able to write.

Therefore, I have done the only thing I can think of to make matters more difficult.

I have given up cigarettes.